Lou Lou's World!

A 30 something girl in an ordinary world

My Family
Lou Lou - Me!::::::: Hubby - Long suffering husband ::::::: Princess - My almost 11 year old daughter ::::::: Beast Dog - My collie cross (who is anything but a beast! ::::::: Arum and Scarum - My folks::::::: Sis- My little sister who is taller than me!::::::: Scarlet - My bestest friend
Medically Me!
The two biggest medical events were in 1998 when I fractured my spine and in 2003 when I had a golf ball sized benign tumour removed from my breast.
Odd Me!
I broke my wrist trying to recreate Balero on roller skates, on my own... (twat)::::::: I'm very scared of mice, but cockroaches don't really bother me!(as much)::::::: I am a bit compulsive about washing my hands ::::::: I have Singstar rating singing "Heaven is a Place on Earth!"
Under Construction! - More to come here!
life goes on
Monday, February 16, 2009
It's been a while.

It's not that I've had nothing to say

I've cried a few tears, at last.

It came from nowhere, absolutely nowhere and hit me hard, very hard.

You can't choose when it hits you.

I was at work, I was fine, a guy who is retiring came in, he had recently had his foot amputated. I was talking to him, all was well. He sat down.

That's all it took. He sat down. He sat down with his walking stick to one side. And just for a fleeting second he looked like Dad.

I walked out, caught my breath, tried to and failed.

Slipped out to the ladies loo and sobbed, each sob more wracking and hurting more than the last.

Every time I stopped I started again.

Not pretty.

I don't cry prettily.

It hurt like hell but jees I needed it desperately.

Finally went back to my desk, tried to act like all was well and nothing had happened. D says omg whats wrong?

I started again.

It hurt so bad, it was completely overwhelming.

I was so grateful to feel.

Life goes on

I went out that night with the girls for a few drinks, planned previously. I really needed it. It was a great night. You should see the photos!!!

Life goes on

I talk to Dad all the time. I know he's here. There are moments I feel him close by. I whisper out loud. If some one heard me I'm sure they'd say I'm nuts! But I have nowhere to visit. No place here that I have a memory.

People I haven't seen for a while ask how Christmas was. I try to joke about it, say it was shit, Dad passed away, typical of him, centre of attention. It makes it easier to make light of it, Dad was like that; but now as I type tears are filling my eyes, a huge lump is in my throat

At last I feel

Life goes on, Dad would want it that way.

I know you've been here now Mum, I never intended to make you cry. I'm writing to help myself, like therapy I guess. Get it out, what I'm feeling, the stuff I can't talk to anyone else about. I don't like to go about it to you, you have enough pain of your own.

posted by Lou Lou @ 7:21:00 pm  
About Me

Name: Lou Lou
Home: Europe
About Me: I'm 5ft 3 1/2 and i have green eyes and long brunette hair that tends to have a mind of its own
See my complete profile
Previous Post
  • Email Me!
  • Blogroll Me!
Powered by

Free Blogger Templates

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com


© 2006 Lou Lou's World! .Template by Isnaini Dot Com