| Admirers! |
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| My Family |
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Lou Lou - Me!:::::::
Hubby - Long suffering husband :::::::
Princess - My almost 11 year old daughter :::::::
Beast Dog - My collie cross (who is anything but a beast! :::::::
Arum and Scarum - My folks::::::: Sis- My little sister who is taller than me!::::::: Scarlet - My bestest friend |
| Medically Me! |
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The two biggest medical events were in 1998 when I fractured my spine and in 2003 when I had a golf ball sized benign tumour removed from my breast.
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| Odd Me! |
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I broke my wrist trying to recreate Balero on roller skates, on my own... (twat):::::::
I'm very scared of mice, but cockroaches don't really bother me!(as much):::::::
I am a bit compulsive about washing my hands :::::::
I have Singstar rating singing "Heaven is a Place on Earth!"
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| Random |
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Under Construction! - More to come here!
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| The Myth that is Milky |
| Monday, July 26, 2004 |
Heres Milky.......
Lou trusts me for a few weeks, maybe she's deranged ?
So here goes with the artistic license, who knows i may start a blog just for me and Jellybean.
He's BEHIND YOU - Fuck I hope not...........................
So the Rocky Horror show is in town, a cross-dressing opportunity, its time to slip into Ann Summers and lap up some of them XXXL bargains.
I always think that cocks look stupid in panties, especially thongs !, they always poke out the fooking top by miles (or is that just me *snigger*).
Anyhow with all this sticky weather we've been having a guy's got to pip for the open crotchies, it gets so claggy dont you know !
Ok then, quick checklist, got the Limahl wig, open crotchies, fuck ! them suspender clips are murder to fasten espcially the back ones, dear me ladies I never knew how much trouble you've been having, I cricked my neck fastening one, heels are in a Lidl carrier bag (classy bitch that I am) and its trainers for the journey to the theatre, shaved the nips too so the peephole is looking a treat. Ok I'm ready to unveil my gorgeousness to the world.
Flagging down cabs on the high street looking like Linda Lusardi and Dr Evils love child aint a sport that i'm particularly gifted in. I'm astounded that cab after cab ignore this manly feminine love nugget, but they do ?, surely lots of peeps are dressed the same and doing the same this evening, but alas no it just appears to be me.
One bus ride later, I hate teenagers on buses, they're not big and they're not clever, they're spotty wank monkies who would sell their mother for a can of Woodpecker and a packet of Marlboro lites.
I'll burn down that fooking youth centre for all the shite they were poking at me, and watch the twats run with their table tennis bats and shite mobile phones as the smoke bellows around them.
I digress
Off the bus and straight to the theatre door. Lots of middle aged folk, few kids, no, in fact, lots of kids, a few real oldies, and not a red lacy teddie in site, well the miserable bastards, they could have made an effort.
And so on into the vast vulgarity of it all, not noticing the poster declaring "NEXT WEEK - ROCKY HORROR SHOW". I take my seat my crotch still amazingly unsweaty and decidedly fresh ( take a tip girls, them crotchless really rock and leave you as fresh as a trout).
Curtain up - Small children racing onto stage ?? strange pubescent looking girl dressed as a guy with a green pointy hat and a stick with spotty hanky at one end, DICK FOOKING WHITTINGTON
BASTARDS AT TICKETMASTER, they're going to get these shitting heels right up them.
Still, it was a good performance, and the ice-creams were cheap, even if I did drop red syrup on my crotch (bloody open crotchies, I had to scissor them pubes off, I look like I've survived a small genital fire now)
And so to home, crash out with 3 cans of Hoffmeister (well it was only £2 for four cans plus a free out of date toastie loaft), and, I have to say was feeling relatively horny dressed up like that, frisky hands gliding about and minutes later all the makings of a cheap porno, yes not a wasted evening after all. But dont tell jellybean - she'll flip.
Now all I have to do is face the neighbours who witnessed the catwalk to the bus stop, I just know they're going to be thinking "OH YES HE IS" and inside my manly goodness will be squealing back "OH FOOKING NO HE's NOT"
TWATTY PANTO's
More Bollocks tomorrow sweeties.............I promise.
x
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posted by Anonymous @ 4:27:00 pm   |
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