| Admirers! |
|
|
| My Family |
|
Lou Lou - Me!:::::::
Hubby - Long suffering husband :::::::
Princess - My almost 11 year old daughter :::::::
Beast Dog - My collie cross (who is anything but a beast! :::::::
Arum and Scarum - My folks::::::: Sis- My little sister who is taller than me!::::::: Scarlet - My bestest friend |
| Medically Me! |
|
The two biggest medical events were in 1998 when I fractured my spine and in 2003 when I had a golf ball sized benign tumour removed from my breast.
|
| Odd Me! |
|
I broke my wrist trying to recreate Balero on roller skates, on my own... (twat):::::::
I'm very scared of mice, but cockroaches don't really bother me!(as much):::::::
I am a bit compulsive about washing my hands :::::::
I have Singstar rating singing "Heaven is a Place on Earth!"
|
| Random |
|
Under Construction! - More to come here!
|
|
| ..::Diagnosis Day::.. |
| Wednesday, July 21, 2004 |
This is my 2nd go at writing this firefox just crashed and i lost the fucking lot
For the reg readers out there, i am in possession of a lump in my right breast.
I've had the examination, i've had the biopsy and i've had the results from that. Today i had to come back home from Scarlets to keep an appointment to see the ultrsound dept to have the findings confirmed and expanded upon.
Princess held my hand as i lay on the bed thing half naked. "mummy be brave" It was pretty much like the canning i had done when i was pregnant i guess, except this time it was my tits!
The lump that when i first found it about a month ago was about the size of a small marble or malteaser. Now it's 2.6cm in diameter which makes it pretty large, especially given the size of my breasts!!
I's not malignant, that was confirmed however it is something known as a Fibroid Adenoma. It's not dangerous but can grown to the size of a baseball ball! It looks like a dead cert i'm gonna have to have it removed. FFS i won't have any tits left once they take it away!
When my weight gain started ( i was painfully thin before) the one thing i was really really chiffed about is for the first time in my life i developed cleavage! I was always the one they took the piss out of at school, cos i really was so flat. I also weighed about 7 1/2 stone ( and cos i ate like a horse) it was yet more cause for bullying. (Yep there you have it, i was bullied at school and not always verbally either.) It was hurtful and caused me to have a major complex about my self worth for most of my life. I always felt inadiquet, i always felt like i wasn't complete and i never thought anyone would look twice at me cos of my lack of tits. I was quite pretty when i was at school, I had boyfriends but i would do nothing with them except kiss, and then became known as a tease and a fridgid bitch.
When I was 17 i met my now hubby, We were friends, and then it went from there, there was chemistry we fell in love and the rest is history we've been together 14 years. He was the only person i ever felt comfortable taking my clothes off in front of. He is the only ane i have ever truly loved. He loves me for who and what i am. Tits or no tits!
When i was pregnant with princess i imagined i would blossom, sadly i didn't they got smaller than their 32b and i got no millk so i couldn't breast feed.
On arrival of said tits, it gave me aboost, i finally can wear clothes i never could before, i finally have cleavage! I finally feel womanly, it's given me more self confidence and at last i feel desirable, to me you understand. I love the fact i can wear whatever i like now. I put on 1 1/2 stone and with it i went up to a 34C. It changed completely the way i feel about myself.
So i have this lump, and for my health it has to be removed, how much will i have left? Will it knock my confidence will it take me back to those days i hid myself and shape away in huge baggy jumpers and hunched shoulders instead of standing proud?
This post has taken on a life of its own i never meant to tell you all this just simply i'm ok i've not got cancer. My tits are my insecurity. well one of them!
I may well re read this later and delete it!
Love
Lou Lou
xxxxxx
|
posted by Lou Lou @ 10:30:00 pm   |
|
|
|
|
|
|