| Admirers! |
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| My Family |
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Lou Lou - Me!:::::::
Hubby - Long suffering husband :::::::
Princess - My almost 11 year old daughter :::::::
Beast Dog - My collie cross (who is anything but a beast! :::::::
Arum and Scarum - My folks::::::: Sis- My little sister who is taller than me!::::::: Scarlet - My bestest friend |
| Medically Me! |
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The two biggest medical events were in 1998 when I fractured my spine and in 2003 when I had a golf ball sized benign tumour removed from my breast.
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| Odd Me! |
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I broke my wrist trying to recreate Balero on roller skates, on my own... (twat):::::::
I'm very scared of mice, but cockroaches don't really bother me!(as much):::::::
I am a bit compulsive about washing my hands :::::::
I have Singstar rating singing "Heaven is a Place on Earth!"
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| Random |
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Under Construction! - More to come here!
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| ..::i don't know what came over me:.. |
| Friday, September 24, 2004 |
Don't know what came over me.....
I put an alex parks cd on (?)*obviously an act of insanity* and then it happened.
I burst into tears, huge great big wracking sobs with big fat tears running down my cheeks.
I was sorting out photographs, surrounded by pictures of my loved ones, of those i left behind and of those with me. I really don't know what hit me.i couldn't stop that was 20 minutes ago and still i'm tearful still they are falling down my cheeks.
I rang Scarlet, i know she's at work, but just in case she wasn't i left a message on her answerphone. I'm sorry babe, i'm ok really i am, just a bit down. I didn't mean to worry you just wanted to hear your voice. I always turn to her.
There are people i miss more than others, close family obviously, but Scarlet, it's like being separated from your twin, there's such a strong bond there. I know she's having a rough time of it lately. It seems everyone she loves is leaving. I feel guilty. And so very sad. I know we talk everyday, and mail too, but still i feel her loss.
Through my life,(so far) i've had many friends some good, some bad and some who just shit all over me, Scarlet came along when i was 21. 10 years ago. Within moments it was written in stone, best mates, for ever. I've been for the most part unlucky with mates. I'm too giving, too trusting. (Girls are bitches. My best mates were mainly always lads.) I thank God for the day he brought her into my life.
So here i sit, tears still flowing, face a mess, massy in streaks (only make up i ever wear nowanything else slides off with the heat) feeling sad feeling such a sence of loss, yet i don't really know what i'm greiving for.
I have done some greatstuff today though i took two exams this morning. I passed both one 83% questions featured were not in my syllabus i found in the main not properly so very were very abstract i should have done better and could have, and the other i flew through 97% feeling pretty cocky about that one. I've been to fat club and stayed the saem weight, I've done pretty much all the housework minus hoovering. I'm going swimming this afternoon with princess and tomorrow we're off to the beach once more. on the piss more than likely Saturday night too.
Maybe i'll pull myself together in a mo......i have to. I can't spend all day like this.
Happy place happy place happy place.
Only trouble is what i'm crying about is in my happy place. oh bollox
going to put on happy music now.....
love
lou lou
xxxxx
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posted by Lou Lou @ 10:09:00 am   |
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