| Admirers! |
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| My Family |
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Lou Lou - Me!:::::::
Hubby - Long suffering husband :::::::
Princess - My almost 11 year old daughter :::::::
Beast Dog - My collie cross (who is anything but a beast! :::::::
Arum and Scarum - My folks::::::: Sis- My little sister who is taller than me!::::::: Scarlet - My bestest friend |
| Medically Me! |
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The two biggest medical events were in 1998 when I fractured my spine and in 2003 when I had a golf ball sized benign tumour removed from my breast.
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| Odd Me! |
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I broke my wrist trying to recreate Balero on roller skates, on my own... (twat):::::::
I'm very scared of mice, but cockroaches don't really bother me!(as much):::::::
I am a bit compulsive about washing my hands :::::::
I have Singstar rating singing "Heaven is a Place on Earth!"
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| Random |
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Under Construction! - More to come here!
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| ..:: so how does it make you feel?::.. |
| Sunday, December 05, 2004 |
December is I think perhaps the hardest month of the year, for many reasons.
For some it's because it's just so fecking busy, for some it's cos they're skint, for some it's cos they are alone and some of us just dred the arguments the stress and the hassle.
Have you ever noticed how many people die at christmas? They wait till all the familes there and then they drop like fecking flies! It's true.......... sad but true. For me christmas is no longer what it was. It is too commercial and has i think lost that special zing for me. I choose to live it through Princess now. Christmas is for children, I get excited about it for her, Christmas is for my baby.
Last year we went to Disneyland Paris for Christmas it was great, fecking cold, fecking wet and fecking brilliant. Just the 3 of us, a big secret planned for months. We never told Princess. We lied *bad parents* to her, we told her we were going househunting in France when she asked at 4am on the ferry why we were on it! She never guessed. Hubby and I were pissing ourselves with every giant sign of mickey mouse we went past and still she didn't cotton on. She finally got it, when we were outside the security gate of our hotel in the disney village and she saw the mickey mouse bus!
That moment, was priceless i still tear up at the thought of my sweet 6 year olds face realising that she was there on Christmas eve...Happy Crimbo baby! She couldn't believe it! Christmas morning instead of opening pressies we were inside the park having breakfast with the disney characters. It was truly magical. Throughout the day i really had to struggle with my emotions as i watched my beautiful childs expressions of wonder and joy, glancing at hubby holding hands like kids feeling such happiness and contentness.
There was no emphasis on pressies, opening them one after the other, it was us as a family, as it should be, enjoying each others company sharing laughter and smiles, not bitching about the shit on the tv, or who bought what crap pressie. No worry about cooking the dinner, no mess, no hassle. Perfect, apart from the weather!
For me Christmas is about the people you love, not what you've got or how much you spend on pressies. To me a £5 pressie can mean far more than £50.
This year Christmas will be strange. Today i've been shopping for pressies in the sun, instead of wrapped up in a thick coat scarf and hat, it's most bizzare.
It wont be the first Christmas I've spent away, I've even spent Christmas on my own, (the shitest christmas in history) it wasn't by choice its was just something i had to do. I remember laying in bed desperately unhappy saying to myself.....the longer i stay here the shorter the day i have to get through, the longer i stay in bed the less time i have to put a brave face on and pretend i'm happy. Breaking down in tears during grace at a friends house as prayers are offered for those not present. Its Christmas then that i hate.
I've spent Christmas surrounded by family too and Chrsitmas just the 3 of us, what do i prefer? I guess thats a hard one to answer. They both have thier own merits. This christmas i shall be missing those i love and hold dear, as we sit on the beach probably, in another reality.
Oh Dear how i've wandered from what i originally wanted to say! But then you all know me better than that and i guess have come to expect it, you're either all asleep or have fecked off before you got this far!
I'm one of the lucky ones, I have a wonderful loving husband, a beautiful healthy child and a supportive family and wonderful special friends, I feel lucky and privelaged I have so much to be thankful for this year so very much has happened.
Do you know someone who'll be spending christmas on their own? Do you have an empty place setting on your table? If you have why not put a smile on their face and a good feeling in your heart and fill it with them. Some aren't as lucky as the rest of us.
I'll leave you know with something completely unrelated but my Princess said to me this evening
"Mummy.....why do you look so young when you really are very old?"
Bless her....really old? I'm 31 ffs. Oh well It's a lifetime for her.
God I love her every little bit of her even if she is a spoilt little shit. She's my spoilt little shit.
love
L
xxxxxx
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posted by Lou Lou @ 8:42:00 pm   |
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