Lou Lou's World!

A 30 something girl in an ordinary world

 
Admirers!
My Family
Lou Lou - Me!::::::: Hubby - Long suffering husband ::::::: Princess - My almost 11 year old daughter ::::::: Beast Dog - My collie cross (who is anything but a beast! ::::::: Arum and Scarum - My folks::::::: Sis- My little sister who is taller than me!::::::: Scarlet - My bestest friend
Medically Me!
The two biggest medical events were in 1998 when I fractured my spine and in 2003 when I had a golf ball sized benign tumour removed from my breast.
Odd Me!
I broke my wrist trying to recreate Balero on roller skates, on my own... (twat)::::::: I'm very scared of mice, but cockroaches don't really bother me!(as much)::::::: I am a bit compulsive about washing my hands ::::::: I have Singstar rating singing "Heaven is a Place on Earth!"
Random
Under Construction! - More to come here!
..::i am ill::..
Sunday, November 28, 2004
So we went out......i felt like shit but looked fabulous. The look in hubby's eye was very proud...i scrub up pretty well! We made a good looking couple if i say so myself! He was all in black minus a cadbury's purple tie.... and well you know what i was wearing!

The hotel was fabulous, 5 star, it was awesome. Well it's not the first time i've been in a posh hotel but all the same it's been a while! The do was pretty good the food fabulous, so much and so yummy. The first 2 glasses of wine went straight to my head! Due to me being poorly....so i had water with my meal, and never drunk anything else after that! i drunk 6 750ml bottles of water! I am disgusted wtih myself free booze, and what did i do?
Seriously though as the night got on i got worse and worse and was happy to stay sat at our table chatting well croaking in my husky voice to people i didn't know. We were among the last to leave actually.

Hubby caught up with friends old and new, we've been invited to a wedding...... adn christmas dinner has been arranged! I of course behaved myself and looked fabulous, and evertime i left my table to pee out the huge quantity of water i drunk i turned heads, it really was a good feeling considering how shit i felt!

There was of course one time when i was in the loo that the obligatory pissed woman was puking in the next stall.....oh so lovely, the friend patting ehr back its better out than in love. yuck.

Hubby got pretty pissed on brandy sours all night, which i admit were nice but i really didn't feel up to getting pissed in the end. I can have a good time without getting drunk. I'm such a cheap date! We were going to go on clubbing till 5am, but hubby took one look at me and told his boss he was taking me home, i would have been fine, till i collapsed!

His boss paid for our taxi home bless him. We got home just gone 3am..... and then i started the shivering and the shakes, and the constant getting out of bed cos i felt like i wanted to puke which i didn't, well a little but it was just a little blood, i guess from the coughing i finally got to sleep just after 4.30am.

Hubby woke me at 11am, made me soup and soft rolls, and brought me a lemsip then left me to sleep. Which i did drifting in and out hot and cold. I'm feeling a bit better now, he woke me up a while ago and said i needed to be up for a bit or i'd never sleep tonight. I agreed grudgingly and struggled to get up. So i'm on here for a bit chatting to scarlet, saving my voice which is practically non existant now. I'm sat here like a coccoon in a sleeping bag, trying to sweat the bastard out... ffs i had a flu jab.

Well i shall go i'm boring the shit out you prolly not making much sence.....

laters

L
xxx


posted by Lou Lou @ 1:45:00 pm  
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..::just a quickie::..
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Well.
I'm still spluttering and sneezing and to make matters worse my chest is burning now too!
Princess did well at her grading and had to "battle" her best friend! We'll get the results of the grading on wednesday! She's on a sleepover now cos we're off out tonight!

Anway we went into the city to get something to wear, hubby has a nice black shirt to go with his lush black suit (his bum looks lush in it) and i have something special.

We went to a lovely boutique and i have a gorgeous black chiffon dress, it has a rouched bust with a rose and spaghetti straps and a handkerchief skirt which comes down to my calves, and a lovely black chiffon stole. Very feminine! Most unlike me!

It looks fabulous though, i'm wearing it with 3 inch black satin peep toe slinbacks, and i'm wearing my hair down, as hubby say's he likes it that way. Silver dangly earings and a diamond pendant (well it might not be real!) a little satin bag to hold my tissues! oh and essentials mascara and lippy and concealer!

The dress as i said has spaghetti straps....and i've put on a bit of weight so i went to get measured for a new strapless bra cos i'm bursting out the one i have! I almost shit myself. She measured me as 34D !!!!!!! D I've never been a D! but sure enough it's a good fit! I feel like christmas has come early....a boob job for free! yay! I also treated myself to a pair of wonder pants! you know the ones that hide all the sins! Oh and a bit of makeup! All a big effort not to feel like shit!

No matter what i'm gonna have a good time....alcohol is free!!!!!!!!! so you can bet i'll kick the arse out of it, in a nice way of course. not wanting to show hubby up!

Anyways i'd better go slip into the bath, i've got some serious prep to do and we're being collected at 9pm by our driver!!!!!!! i may even post some piccies......but i'll blur what i look like hahahahaha a girl has gotta have some mystery!!!!!!

Besdies i don't want to give u nightmares !!!!!!!!

lOVE
L
xxxxxx


posted by Lou Lou @ 3:06:00 pm  
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..::feeling yuck::..
Friday, November 26, 2004
*aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhchew*
it's me......*shiver*
I'm sorry my voice is all croaky....kind of sexy though? haha *splutter* I'm feeling crap.
I am choked up with a sore throat which is very painful, i'm using tissues by the dozen, and i'm sneezing huge great big sneezes which unsteady me and unbalance me!

Sods law. Tomorrow night i am going out. Yes i know i didn't go last time (i couldn't be arsed and it was just a girls night) but this is different. It's hubby's work do, in a very posh hotel, and i will be meeting his collegues for the first time. Oh what a first impression i will make with my red nose, handbag stuffed full with tissues and me spraying them with splutter as i sneeze!
How attractive!

*sneezing fit*

I haven't even got anything to wear yet! On the plus side, i've had my eyebrows done, i've been growing them for a restyle! And at least one part of me is looking foxy! I'm off looking at the lovely shops tomorrow with hubby to find something stunning to wear! Probably black! Well i'm safe in black! I'm really looking forward to the shopping and the night out. My husky voice might work to my advantage!

Well it's hubby's birthday and we're having a quiet night in, cos of tomorrow, we've had a delicious chinese, well i think it was everything tastes funny! I haven't spoilt him cos we're going shopping tomorrow, and a couple of weeks ago i bought him his kitesurfing kit. his birthday came early!

Tomorrow Princess has her karate grading, she's had a fabulous week. She came home with two certificates today, one for knowing her times tables inside out and another for reading. I'm so proud! On top of which her swimming improved yesteerday too.

I'm gonna get back to hubby now, it is his birthday!

Many thanks to all for your kind comments on here and over at Andres. I love you all you know!!!

Love ya

L
xxxxx
posted by Lou Lou @ 6:24:00 pm  
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..::;ooooo look at me!::..
Thursday, November 25, 2004
first off (its midders here)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING HUBBY!

I love you always

xxxxxxxx

Now

I've gone and done it..... it's there for the world to see i've done my guest blog over at Andre's place.... did u see that ANDRE'S i said A N D R E 'S got it? Good

It took me ages. I'm still not sure about it.....Andre's readers are terribly discerning and some of his readers are very big in blogging. I rewrote it loads of times......

go on tell me what u think and be honest

it really was shite wasn't it?

Love
L
xxxx
posted by Lou Lou @ 10:05:00 pm  
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..::better dash::..
So this is just a quickie, I am feeling very important.....For a change! I have a guest blog piece to write and i'm on countdown to handing it in! It feels like i'm back at school again and i'm crapping it!
Still cold and horrible here, although the sun has graced us with its presence!
HIghlight of my day
Princess swimming, and she got her times tables challenge all right, whiat with all her spellings right too and a tidy room it's been a good week for her!
I've been crap at my language course yet again i did well actually conisdering the amount i have missed due to hopsital appointments. But I have noone here to practice with. I'll manage it i guess, gotta shedule those lessons with Tatiana yet.

Hubby's birthday tomorrow, we're out but he doesn't know yet........ and of course i will give him a night to remember! *wink wink* well it is his birthday! Still gotta go get an outfit for saturday i still have feck all to wear, eyebrows done tomorrow am, and by sat night i'll be lookin foxy if i can find something to wear! * note to self.....buy bridgie knickers, *

Princess is ooking forward to her fgrading on saturday, and her sleepover, its all go here!
I've been hunting for flight for my sweet scarlet too.......its looking good!

Better dash gotta write this thingy for Andre.

Mwaaaah

Love
L
xxxx

posted by Lou Lou @ 2:52:00 pm  
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..::gibbering::..
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
I'm sat here gibbering....i'm in shock......the weather has changed omg it really is winter. The weekend brought me storms like you wouldn't believe and ice coldness. The windwhistling through my inferior shitty windows, *note to landlord come and fix them you wanker* and the fact that my house is built to keep cool, means its fucking freezing.

We've even had to light the fire in the lounge. Which is lovely and toasty until you move away from it. The house has no central heting. FFS it's supposed to be hot here all year round. where the fuck is my never ending summer?

Last night i fell asleep sitting my the fire whilst watching tv. By the time i woke and got to bed i stripped off and jumped under lest i go into shock at the temperature. I snuggled up to hubby, who is usually a human radiator. I have never seen him in bed before with the duvet pulled right up round his head. No such luck he was not warm, meaning i was not gonna get warm. I spent the entire night waking up cos i was cold. Usually i snuggle into him for 5 minutes and roll over but wtf even he was cold. Which is unreal.

Of course this sudden onset of cold means my life has gone to shit again health wise. My hands are struggling to type they are so cold and stiff. The circulation i had has fucked off and left me looking for a warmer climate. A few days of cold and already my skin in cracking and bleeding and my joints are all hurting. Oh well just like the uk then.

Friday we had a nice day in the afternoon we went to a pub quiz thingy and then in the evening B and W and the kids came back to ours and we had a fab night of laughs pizza and alcohol. We lit the fire for the first time as we felt the teperature drop. Saturday we did a little shopping and then the wind starrted and the rain and the thunder lightning. So i couldn't even get online.

The weekend was ok wet to say the least, the roads were flooded and my garden, omg it was underwater. Thankfully i had already got the roof fixed in the week. We've spent the weekend round the fire stoking it with log after log. I think i'll go biuld it up in a mo, the sun is shining outside but inhere its freezing. Sunday proved to be just as yucky so a dvd marathon was the recipe of the day.

No school yesterday it was closed due to no water. Aha...so why was mine turned off too? With no warning? bastards. Thank god i have bottled water in the house and i was able to make cups of tea. I did all the ironing so at least i did something and it kept me warm. W came round for a cuppa which was nice. Other than that i watched dvds all day. Not very exciting i know
but hey, thats my life now.,

Today i'm sat here waiting for a workman to call to measure the windows. great. as if i have nothing else to do, well i dont actually but they dont know that. I have aerobics tonight with W which should be fun its been years.... I have gotta go get some serious crimbo shopping done if i can fit it in sometime this week, and i have to get an outfit for saturday for a "DO" i am off to...... but this week is looking decidedly busy, for a change. tomorrow i must be mad, i'm helping to run the school disco. arrrrgggghh what craziness came over me when i said i'd do that? thursday morning is my language course, thursday night circuit training friday the new glazing is being fitted. i have new carpets coming next week too. Friday is also hubbys birthday, so out friday night. saturday is princesses grading for karate for her new belt (very exciting) and saturday night we're off out. pause for breath sometime? i also have to try and fit in my other course sometime in the week.

Oh well at least i have something to do this week! So often now i look at what i have given up to be here, to start this new life of ours. Its not bothering me as much as it was. Family i miss, but i've always lived away so i'm used to it. Friends, the true ones i miss depsarately, especially scarelt and T. Food, na not really, my job, yes i miss my job i miss the money and the people the challenge, other than that i dont really miss a lot of uk. I'm settling fine here and loving it actually for all my moaning about the weather change. i was told i would. *thankyou GG?via scarlet* i'm surprising myself i'm gaing new interests i would never had in uk. i'm trying new things, and liking them too! Maybe finally i'm growing up? naaaaaaaaa i'm never gonna do that!

well thats it for me, i gotta go light the fire i'm gibbering still ,

Love
L
xxxxx
posted by Lou Lou @ 6:35:00 am  
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..::Halfway up the stairs::..
Friday, November 19, 2004
Halfway down the stairs is a stair where I sit.
There isn't any other stair quite like it.
I'm not at the bottom, I'm not at the top.
So this is the stair where I always stop.

Halfway up the stairs isn't up and isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery, it isn't in the town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts run round my head.
It isn't really anywhere, it's somewhere else instead.

Halfway down the stairs is a stair where I sit.
There isn't any other stair quite like it.
I'm not at the bottom, I'm not at the top.
So this is the stair where I always stop.

aa milne.


This song/poem always makes me cry, i always feel really emotional whenever i hear it or think of it. You may all remember it as the song sung by kermits (the frog) nephew, i forget his name, i'll google it in a minute....ok done. It was Robin.

It's my life.... kind of, well the way I see myself anyway. I've never been the most brilliant or the most wonderful, the most talented or the most pretty, I've never been miss or mrs popularity i've never been picked first in pe (usually last actually cos i was crap and i usually didnt do it at all if i could help it!) I've always kind of sat there, stuck on the sidelines treading water. Never pushed myself forward too much, never achieving much.

I was that scrawny skinny girl at school, the one with no tits, no shape at all, short, mousy, the one that was verbally and physically bullied and never complained. I had no confidence i felt i had no worth and had no belief in myself.

I am of course more confident now, i have self worth and self belief, I have a wonderful loving family and supportive friends. I have my moments of course don't we all? But still no matter how far up the stairs i climb, i'm still that little girl sat halfway up the stairs.

Halfway down the stairs is a stair where I sit.
There isn't any other stair quite like it.
I'm not at the bottom, I'm not at the top.
So this is the stair where I always stop.

Love
L
xxxx
posted by Lou Lou @ 8:24:00 pm  
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..::not quite tip top but better anyway::..
Thursday, November 18, 2004
I'm smiling today, I've gotten over yesterday. I've not gotten over what happened, but i'm dealing ith it. I had a chat to hubby last night about it all, i think i just needed to let it all out i've tried so hard to be strong and keep such a brave bright face on whats beeen occuring. Its been a lot to deal with.

But this morning i woke up feeling better about myself. For the first time i didn't intently study my scar for changes, well ok, i did just not as much. I've had a busy day actually so i havent even given the situation much thought! Which is a good thing cos i do tend to over analyse.

The day has been relatively successful, i didn't bunk of my course today......my tutor had written a welcome back message on the board, and when i got there she kissed both my cheeks bless her. it quite freaked me out! i mean ffs, i hardly know the woman. but thats the way people here are. They are hospitality and geneality itself.

I struggled during the lesson, but i didn't drown. I manged just about to stay afloat. but i will be taking her up on the offer of the catch up lessons....... i need to get to grips with it. I managed to decipher some of the work, and i even had to read it in class, my pronouciation was good anyway she says. Still it finishes at chrsitmas, and i want to catch up so i can get on the imporvers course in january.

Princess has been for her swimming lesson this afternoon. i am one proud mummy, she swam today! I made quite an arse if myself as i jumped up and down in excitment for her. She also had to jump in in the deep end......she did it great.

My leakiing roof has been fixed, i can't remember if i mentioned it was leaking or not! When i got back from hospital today it was being fixed. wtg landlord.

Its strarting to cool down considerably now in the evenings, i'm sat here and my feet are frozen, i'm gonna have to get some socks on. I've been walking about all day in flip flops! We're all still in tshirts in the day but its got cool enough to make wearing jeans bearable which pleases me cos i am never happier or more comfortable than in a pair of jeans.

I think in another week or so we may have to start lighting the fire in the lounge! Oooh theres nothing like a wood fire, candles lit, keane on the stereo and just chillin with a g and t! pretty much what i did last night, minus the candles and the fire, and the addition of the iron and a pile of ironing!!

We had a storm last night again. They come and go. I have never ever seen anything like the storms we get here, real light shows, i never saw lightning without thunder before, its a regular occurence here. Last night as i lay in bed, the flashes were so bright they lit up my room, through the blinds and the curtains! Last weekend i think it was we sat out on the veranda and watched it, its amazing.

I had a spate of funny phonecalls two nights ago, i forgot to blog about it. It shook me up at the time. The calls were to my mobile. It came up private number, which didnt unduly concern me beofre i answered it. on the other end of the phone was a bloke talking in a soft breathy voice in a language i didnt understand, i told him he had the wrong number and he kept on talking. i put the phone down. less than 10 seconds later it rang again, private number again. I made hubby answer it. he wouldnt speak to hubby just went quiet. my heart started to beat really fast.

less than 5 seconds this time and it rang again, in fact he rang back about 6 more times. by this time i was getting the shakes it really freaked me out. hardly anyone has that number, cos its only for people over here and i dont really know many people. Hubby kept putting down the ohone and still he rang back. Finally it went quiet, i was about to turn the damn thing off. Then hubby realised what was occurring.

there is a scam here involving mobile phones, callers from abroad ring you and have some way of taking the credit off your ohone. its all very odd. it was confirmed after i spoke to w. its very common here i was just lucky it hadnt happened to us before now. talking of which i must check my credit on it if i can think how to do it, now where did i put the instructions?

right i'm off for a bit got blogs to catch up with back later maybe
love
L
xxx
posted by Lou Lou @ 2:19:00 pm  
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..::and i awaken::..
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Spending time surfing and reading blogs can be so much fun. Yet twice now in a few hours i find i'm beside myself and my heart feeling others pain, my face awash with tears so much i can barely see what i am typing right now.

I will not name the blogs that made me cry, they are not in my links right now, i found the one this morning through Blog Explosion. The tears fell and they keep on falling. Huge wracking sobs are brewing up inside me as i take deep breaths to stabilise myself.

Why am i crying so hard? why is my heart breaking?

A daughter has lost her mother, after already losing her sister. The writing is so honest and clear, her pain and anger with God so eloquently said.

So i read on, you know, like people stuck in traffic,watching a road accident, i have to read what happened. So i read on and on and on and more the tears fall. And then i discover the cherished loved one is a blogger. So i go and read her site.
The tears falling thicker that ever, i read her last post.

I feel so lucky at this moment in time. I was meant to find these blogs. I was meant to read their pain, i was meant to realise how close i came and how lucky i am.

You see the lady concerned died of Breast Cancer, just a few days ago.

My life could be so different right now, if my tumour had been malignant.

For weeks now i've been harping on boring you all stupid with how the whole experience has effected me, how i am grateful but i still look at my scar with revulsion rather than a blessing. I should be living to the full right now, but instead i am sitting back on the sidelines.

It's time i pulled myself together. i'm ok. it was benign. get a grip Lou.

And still i sit here crying, and i can't seam to stop, maybe its been brewing a while, it has, all the stress and worry i've had the last few months are coming out of me.

Bless you (if you happen to visitmy site through the comment i left) be strong. thankyou for sharing your pain. thankyou for making me see thankyou for helping me realise how very lucky i am.

I gotta go, i'm still crying i can't stop,

love
L
xxx



posted by Lou Lou @ 8:31:00 am  
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..::well at least i have personality says::..
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
YUCK
i woke up this am and could barely get out of bed. Oh man did i feel like shite. I wasn't just tired i felt really pukey.
I decided i would let princess ride her bike to school today, which meant i had to ride mine.... i walked up our path got on it and low and behold flat tyre. I pumped it up and took her to school, barking instructions to her like a crazy bitch teaching cycling proficiency. I has thought it was maybe cos it has been bloody hot in the shed and the heat would have made the air disperse of something. I was wrong.
I started to cycle home, unfortunatly its all uphill and its a bastard of a hill. I ended up walking the majority of it, the tyre was almost flat. Me thinks i might have a puncture.

So i got home, had breakfast and played sims, surfed a few blogs, and felt rough. I baked bread, did washing, and then went to collect princess from school. Walking of course cos my bike is knackered now.

I was about to make lunch, actually i was online checking the wind, for kitesurfing, and my moby rang. Hubby wanted to kow whay he couldn't get through that he would be home in 10 minutes and the man was delivering the logs.

So this afternoon, i was helping hubby to stack all the logs, a truckfull to be precise, on the front veranda. There are shit loads of them, i was minging by the time we finished!

Later on i played sims for a bit whilst hubby watched a dvd and princess played. I am addicted again. I'm trying to make my own stuff for it now.....its a nightmare. Quiet night this evening till i got on here......

Tomorrow i'm off to do my course, i've got the ironing to do that i couldnt be arsed to do tonight, and in the afternoon we're off the the beach after karate, so hubby can catch some wind.....

Thursday is looking busy, i've been bolloked. Tatiana my tutor rang me and wanted to know where the hell i have been. well all my hospital appointments are on thursdays its not my fault i've missed loads, i can't catch up i'm crap. so she wants me there on thursday for 2 hours, and then she wants to give me some private tutoring no charge. cool. i also have hospital but its a later appointment this time.

i've gotta go and get my hair done in the next two weeks gotta find a decent salon first. find a decent beautican to do my eyebrows, i've been growing them for a restyle,

i think i'm babysitting on thursday too.

this weekend the winds gonna be awesome so we'll be spending it at the beach......
ah november shorts and tshirts, how i miss the cold, the damp the rain NOT

oh well i'll bugger offf now i have fuck all else to write

laters

L
x
posted by Lou Lou @ 8:39:00 pm  
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..::ok. right. headphones on, volume up, babies sing to me. ::..
Monday, November 15, 2004
ok. right. headphones on, volume up, babies sing to me.
aaaaah thats better soothe me take away the pain.

It has been a long long day. i don't like mondays. mondays are my least favourite day. no lazing in bed, snugly under the duvet, its omg we're gonna be late move your arse, omg theres 5 more days till the weekend.

the alarm went off it's customary 4 times, the snooze button hammered down by my hamfisted tired self having had yet another late night cos i was on here gassing to scarlet. it was nice and warm under the duvet. its my favourite place, all snugly and cosy i could stay there all day, but i can't. i have responspibilities i'm a mummy and a wifey.

i have to get myself and princess up, hubby has already left for work. get her to school, get the housework done and go to my course.

heres what happened today not very exciting but it picks up a little.
i languished in bed till 6.40, i should have been up by 6.15 if i had got up when the alarm first went off, ok 6.10. i let it run fast. it was a mad dash to the bathroom, for us both, packed snacks, schoolbag, argued with her about which uniform she should wear today. grounding was threatened more than once.

we left late, got her to school. i came home and had breakfast whilst i watched a dvd. answered the phone. shit time to go out.

9.30am arrive at doctors, have a flu jab booked. was i at risk? *yes ffs look at my fucking notes.* what asthma meds am i on. *what is this 20 fucking questions? i am entitled ......look at my notes i have one every fucking year*. wait 5 mins to be called. spend 40 minutes in a cubicle on my own. they eventually ask me to leave and come back they didnt bother their arses to get the script done, and in the 40 minutes they still hadn't. i went and did some shopping and went back. finally i got the jab, and was then told to site in the waiting room for 20 mins or so incase i collapsed in the street. ffs its a fucking flu jab. 2 hours

2 hours wasted, i spent 2 hours getting a flu jab thats gotta be a record

so what did i do then?

i came home did a little tidying and went online. chatted to my mummy, and scarlet, and then it was time to get to school to pick up princcess.

more arguments this afternoon, my 7 yearold darling is becoming a gobby little cow, ok like her mother but ffs. the lastest is "i'm not in the mood to tidy my bedroom" shes 7 and a brooding teenager already, she flounces about slams her door turns the stereo on. omg are the teenage years gonna be bad or what?

this afternoon. watched a dvd and cooked a roast. i am queen of my kitchen the food is superb but i made carrot and swede and now i have wind. *sorry* i hate that but i love carrot and swede, all mashed up with ground pepper and butter. *did not use butter* princess has atitude from hell. i think she is coming down with something her best friend is puking we spent all afternoon yesterday with her so she's bound to get it apparently half the school are off with it. joyous.

I've had a quiet night, hubby has hogged the pc, i've bimbled around doing housewifey things, and sat on my arse. till finally i could get on here my turn yay!

Actually the arse might be diminishing at last i'll let you know on thursday when i've been to see george the nutricienist. the jeans i bought last week, i really had to squeeze into, i am wearing them today and they are loose ffs what is that? maybe is was just bloated, but whatever its a nice feeling to get into something new that fits. i think i am losing weight maybe my metabalism has started again a gal can hope. my tits are smaller than they were, though maybe thats the swelling from the op finally gone....i still have bruising, can you belive that? its been weeks and weeks.

oh god, i'm rambling whats new. ok i'm off to foray into blogland and see whats changed since this morning.........

love ya

Lou Lou
xxxxxx





posted by Lou Lou @ 9:15:00 pm  
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..::she ain't no saint::..
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Dearest Scarlet,
Please, please try not to carry this world on your shoulders. Stop take a breath, take a liccle time out. You are only human babe.
Now do as you're told
Love you
L
xxx

Its been a harsh few days for Scarlet, and she's not gonna post details, and i'm not gonna either. She is a true, true friend if you called her at 4am she'd be there, she might tell you to fuck off and phone at a decent hour, but she'd be there and sort you out in her own caring take no shit way.

And that my friends is the trouble with Scarlet.

She cares......too much. She tries to fix everything she possibly can and tries to fix a lot that there is no way she can. She cares. Pure and simply. She forgets she's like the rest of us, mortal persons, she forgets there is only so much she can do. She takes the weight and worry of the world on her shoulders, when those around her are screaming out stop the world i wanna get off now.

Its the hardest thing in the world to say hey babe take a sec will ya? Because to her, that second she stopped when she could be helping someone else is wasted. She is without a doubt the most caring and compassionate being i have ever been fortunate to meet let alone call her my very best friend in the whole wide universe.

Of course she is no saint. What saints do you know that can drink most men under the table and still not have a hangover, know all the words to every tennacious d song ever sung, and swears just as much if not more than i do, *well she does use the c word more than i do....* She is Scarlet, and that's what makes her special.

If i could only show you a piccie of her,*we made a pact not to publish pics of ourselves* you'd see for yourselves she is a truly beautiful person inside and out.

This isn't the lets give praise to Scarlet day post. This is a Hey Babe take a sec, stop, think of yourself for a change eh? Quit worrying about the world for a sec .......let someone else try to save it for a change.

Scarlet babe I am truly truly grateful for the day you came into my life, you are my sweet one of a kind. A wierd, mental, twat who gives far more than she recieves.

Now darlin take a deep breath and try and get some sleep eh?

Love you

L
xxxx
posted by Lou Lou @ 8:40:00 pm  
|
..::from the moment your eyes open and you know all the things i ever wanted you to know::..
fuck
blogger just ate my massive post
and i didn't back it up
ok i know
twat
ain't got time now will be back later
mwaaaah

L
posted by Lou Lou @ 8:16:00 am  
|
..::i am very busy you know::..
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Yeah ok, so what, so i couldnt be arsed to do a proper post this morning. I am a busy house technician you know.

I was doing housework, well ok i wasn't not really. I did do some washing, ok the machine did it, but i did put it in turn it on and hang it out! I did tidy. But no i didn't hoover. I couldn't be arsed. What was the point. I was scoffing cake. *ssssssshhhhh only lickle bits of cake*

I did do some good stuff though this am. The decorators *me* arrived here! Which took up a little time.

Princess had a swimming lesson this afternoon, she is progressing nicely. She looks so funny in her little swimming hat.

Then late this afternoon W and I went shopping. It tuned into a bit of a marathon event, and we didn't even buy much. I have a nice pair of new jeans, which come complete with a sandpaper mitt to distress them, hubby can help me with that! some hair bits, a top for princess, and that was it.

Very dissapointing. Isn't it always like that though? You go out specifically to buy something and you come home with nowt, and then when you're skint you could spend a fortune!

So all done we giggled our way to a fab takeaway/restaurant ype place and ordered two chicken kebabs.
OMG they were huge, as big as a shoebox, we nearly died!

We sat in a layby and ate them remenising about our teens, music and stuff and those days you would drive just anywhere as long as you were out the house, scrounge up the change in your purses to put petrol in and drive as far as you could keeping back a quid for a bag of chips to share whilst eyeing up the lads in the carpark.

We got back about 9.30pm!!!!! Yeah i know and with hardly anything to show for it!
Not sure whether we are going now tomorrow night, didn't get anything slinky to wear. I do have a favourite black top, very low neckline halterneck which i might wear, teamed with jeans should do, with spikey heel boots, hair long down and stright, big kat slater earings, a little makeup. What do you think?

The scar has been bad today, its hurting on and off again. The scar is now going keloid, which i expected but its working overtime, its so red and angry. Its raised already and twice as wide as it was. Bugger. Shit. Not fair. Why couldnt it stay neat and tidyish. why couldnt it fade and let me forget?

well anyway i'm off. i've done my bit for today, i'm gonna go sleepybyes
i'm bolloxed

nighty nights
love
lou lou
xxxxx
posted by Lou Lou @ 9:14:00 pm  
|
...:::How Appropriate!::..

You’re a wild child.

Adventurous and curious, you’re willing to try just about anything.

On second thought, strike the “just about” part.



Underneath, on top, in private, in public, a second man, a second woman, it’s all cool with you.

Be proud. There aren’t many girls with your kind of spirit.

Guys love that. They’re scared of it, too.

And you love that. Which just fuels the fires even more.



What Cocktail Are You?


More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Very me!






You Are Avril Lavigne!


A bit hardcore on the outside...
But sweet and sensitive on the inside.
"It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life"




Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz :-)





And yet again I strike gold, oh so me! Are these quizzes phsycic? The're better than horoscopes!!!

Off for now
Back later gotta do more quizzes!

Love
Lou Lou
xxxxxxx


PS
I say a prayer for you M. So very sad for you x



posted by Lou Lou @ 10:06:00 am  
|
..::looking out the window at the nothing::..
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Been a long funny kind of day.

I got on ever so briefly this am, and then i was disturbed by the door. W had come to et me for a foray along the beach again. I have to admit a spectacualr walk and did me loads of good. Though the storm clouds were gathering and my chest was tight *shitty asthma*

I got home and was starving, ate my mid morning intake of fibre and then some! I even managed to get online briefly then the thunder started so it was time to get off.

So i walked about the house, i looked out of the windows at nothing, i turned on the tv and all that was on was shite, I hung the washing i had done on airers and listened to the thunder. It was coming closer and the sky became so black. Although it didn't rain badly, not like last night omg torrential was not the word it was scary i never saw rain so hard.

So here i am with sweet fa to do. So i read a book, and finished it. Lent to me by M it was i have to say the wierdest book i ever read, with an equally odd title. Can't recall who wrote it now but the book was entitled Dead Kids Songs. Very odd book. Very wierd. But it gave me something to do. lets say i wont read anything else by him again.

This afternoon i kept busy, managed to get online yay. helping a mate with a template. the storm passed. had yet another argument with princess about her tidying her room. It is actually done now. for how long is not even worth thinking about. and tonight i've been to a school meeting with dragged on.

Food managment wise i seem to be doing ok. I am still off sugar in my tea, and i even cut down on the amount of tea i drink. I am eating all i am told to. apart from that trip to maccy d's with the kids yesterday. ok i had a salad, and a chicken burger and chips and a fat boy coke.
and i felt like shit afterwards. in fact i never finished it iwas disgusted with myself and it tasted foul. I abstained this afternoon from a donut. a nice big round one with white ising and a hole in the middle. how i longed just to lick it. but i didn't

i guess this is a crap post. and you know i don't care
i'm not in a great mood today.
boredom
it gets ya

love
lou lou
xxxxx

posted by Lou Lou @ 9:21:00 pm  
|
..::to clarify::..
Monday, November 08, 2004
to clarify
i am going out this friday coming, not last friday!!!!

ok you want an update
i have pretty much feck all to say
friday
bonfire on the beach, oh wait i blogged about that already
princess had a sleepover which went well
saturday
went to the beach
wind was shite so hubby didn't get any kite surfing done
sat night
chinese takeaway
sunday
ironing.....yes you read it right i have started ironing again its cool enough to, well i was before just on demand ironing!
spent the day watching dvds quality family time
oh and watched the lightning

see nowt exciting

today
went out with W
ended up at maccy d
took kids 10 pin bowling
they beat us ( me is still in recovery from major op)
even the 2 1/2 year old
quiet night
watching the storm
got on here when it finished but it sounds like it might be brewing again hence my stilted writing
cos i gotta get off when it starts proper

will post proper tomorrow

love
lou lou
xxxxxx


posted by Lou Lou @ 9:59:00 pm  
|
..::it gets better u know::..
i'm off out in a mo.....
princess has a teacher training day, yes they have them here too! so we are off out with good friend W and her kiddies.
yay
a day out of the house!
and it gets better
guess what?.................................


i am going out

OUT! O........... U............... T ! OUT!!!!!

Friday night i will be out with the girls, i don't know anyof them bar W but it'll be a great way to meet people, and what better way to meet than moi pissed out of my liccle head?

I have of course nothing to wear at present.......that will be remedied by shopping fix me thinks

something black......
something tight......
probably with jeans........ cos my ass looks great in jeans

i am soooooo excited can you tell?
out a whole evening
for the first time in months
i am hitting the clubs baby

right
off to get showered......i'm sat here in my jim jams and a dressing gown, yeah i know lazy bitch i'm off out in 30 minutes

my dear mate DYNAGIRL has at last done a pished post......wtg babe. you're rivals mine. oooooooh that means i have one brewing for friday night, or will that be saturday am? the clubs here close at 6am!

laters people

love
lou lou
xxxxx

posted by Lou Lou @ 7:21:00 am  
|
..::gunpowder treason and plot::..
Friday, November 05, 2004
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...

Bonfire night is upon us once more. I love Bonfire night.Happy times, many nights snuggled up in the cold and damp,hands in gloves, coat, woolly hat, welly boots. Sparklers, the pungent smell of gunpoder, fire and ash. crunching leaves underfoot. Smiling faces, laughing children oohing and aaaahing.

Except.....................................

It was surreal. Shorts, t-shirts in November, gathered around a bonfire!
As i stood with my daughter and her friend i gazed up in the sky oohing and aahing with the rest of them at the beautiful colours sparkling in the night sky I have to say i pushed back a tear or two. Swallowed a few times to clear my frogging up throat.

Fireworks and brass bands have the ability to do this to me, why i don't know but it moves me. I smiled and thought of my dearest friends and family back in blighty, as i stood with new friends.

I missed sparklers. We couldn't get any. The fireworks were fabulous. The colours lighting up the night sky. I felt a pang for the cold, the damp, the cosyness of a woolly hat and scarf. The smell of good old bangers and mash.

I happen to have liked standing on the beach, under the stars, in a t-shirt, although none of the smells from home were there. yes there was a bonfire, and yes fireworks. But all i could smell was salty air.

Autumn. i miss it.

So as you've gathered i'm decidedly more upbeat today! I've been for a lovely walk first thing this morning along the beach on the dunes and under the cliffs, dodging locusts and other creepy crawlies we have here. I've also had a massage which was fantastic. I felt lighter afterwards. My therapist said my shoulder feels like frozen peas/bubble wrap under the skin! A problem i am aware of and am having physio for. But whatever she did made it heaps better for today it was infra red i think.
I've been busy the rest of today and princess is having a sleepover as i type, and i'm keeping them awake with my typing. (in the lounge cos they want to sleep downstairs) So i'll call it a night in a moment.

I got the last bit of the remeber rhyme from this site. Whilst i was there i took a look, its fantastic. I found my old favourite i sang to my daughter, but no one else i knew had known it. I often wondered if my mum had made it up, but there it was

I gotta say i was choked up. How soppy am i?

I am learning i need to accept what has happened to me, and as recommended by you lovely people, celebrate the fact i am alive and benign. I guess sometimes you need to hear things from another perpective. I'm sorry i've been self obsessed lately. I've been a boring bitch. Now i've gotta get on with it. I'm sure i'll have other crap days. But i'll run back through and read your kind words and it'll kick my arse into touch once more.

I do have a little news i'd like to share the lovely talented Andre, has asked me to be a guest blogger. MOI! I am i have to say completely flattered and choked he would ask wee me. I am but a droplet of the talent he has, and of his other guest bloggers who have all been mindblowingly good. I shall obsess now for the next 4 weeks on exactly what i'm going to write. Any ideas?
right time to go i think i'll be back tomorrow

be safe guys this bonfire night

love
lou lou
xxxxxx
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posted by Lou Lou @ 7:44:00 pm  
|
..::downer::..
Thursday, November 04, 2004
I am on a downer.

The last few days , althought not really hectic i have had stuff to do. I am stil getting awfully tired. I do since the op. I am still drained. FFS it's been 4 weeks. So i've been off to bed early cos i've been falling asleep in my cosy chair. So I'm sorry i've not posted.

Before i had the op i was so sure that i would be up and about within a couple of days. How wrong I was. It's been a struggle. I have been so knackered all of the time And even though i've had the fantastic news that the tumour was benign now still i am under the weather, still i am tired weeks on. Still i am in pain sparodically.

The last remaining scab has dropped off and I am left with a big angry red welt type scar already on my breast. Oh yes, it's covered either by my bra or a bikini but that's not the point is it? I lok at my naked breasts in the mirror and all i see is this huge red ugly scar. It chokes me if i'm honest. I never had the greatest tits in the world, but they weren't bad, smallish and perky, which they still are, but with this big ugly red scar. I feel pretty horrible. If i feel like that how must hubby feel? He says of course he doesn't notice (how can he not?) he says it doesn't bother him. (how can it not when it bothers me so much)

See i told you i was on a downer.

On top of this i've had crap news from home. A family member is very poorly and been rushed into hospital. Not good. Praying for you G.

On a positive side, and i do have a small one, the food management plan is going ok. I lost 1lb George was most pleased although he took great pains to tell me it isnt about weight its about changing my life. I am doing well he says i've mad some good changes.

We also finally finished the viking ship.....its been a nightmare but its done its waterproof and it floats!

OK. so what fuckwits voted for bush?
I am still in shock. How could they vote that twat in again? and now with blair firmly esconsed up bush's arse our lifes are doomed. Scarlet is our political corresspondant so i'll let her do the rant!

anyway i'll post the piccie of the ship and i'm gonna carry on messaging scarlet crying on her shoulder.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Tomorrow i am off for a power walk and a massage. yay should lift this dismal mood maybe......bonfire night of course people so play safe amd remember to wear gloves when playing with sparklers

love
lou lou
xxxxx


posted by Lou Lou @ 8:58:00 pm  
|
..::a quickie::..
Monday, November 01, 2004
i found this via a blog on blog explosion, i figured i'd give it a go nowt to lose is there, anyways it's pretty neat, and it's this.....

Who Links To Me - for the ultimate narcissist within you

as for blog explosion, its ok if you've got the time, its ok apart from the non blogs, i've found some fab blogs through it actually.....

being nagged

gotta go get that viking boat painted due to be handed in!

laters

love
lou lou
xxxxx

posted by Lou Lou @ 1:39:00 pm  
|
About Me

Name: Lou Lou
Home: Europe
About Me: I'm 5ft 3 1/2 and i have green eyes and long brunette hair that tends to have a mind of its own
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